two becoming one
Excerpts from Marital, Chapter 1“…And the two are united into one.” Genesis 2:24 (NLT)
God created you as a three-part being. You are a spirit, you have a soul, and you live in a body. God designed marriage so there would be unity or intimacy in all three parts of your being.
Spiritual Intimacy
When the spirits are connected, the husband and wife have spiritual intimacy. It is based on a common devotion to Jesus Christ. The couple believes Jesus died for their sins and they are a part of God’s family. The Holy Spirit fills them with God’s love.
Sharing a mutual spiritual commitment is the most important part of a marriage, because it is the permanent part of the relationship that can stand alone if necessary.
Psychological Intimacy
Another part of oneness comes when a husband and wife have psychological intimacy by sharing their souls (minds, emotions, and wills) with each other. Sharing your soul means telling each other what you are thinking, feeling, and wanting.
Communication is vital for building psychological intimacy in a marriage. This communication involves both spouses speaking and listening effectively. Psychological intimacy requires shared understanding.
“Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife…Finally, all of you be of one mind, having compassion for one another; love as brothers, be tenderhearted, be courteous.” 1 Peter 3:7–8 (NKJ)
Q.2 Do you withhold sharing your thoughts, emotions or desires from your spouse? Explain.
Q.3 If you don’t share these things with your spouse, do you share your soul with someone else? Explain.
If you are psychologically intimate with someone else at work, one of your parents, or a friend, you are cheating your spouse out of that special gift of intimacy. The following verse communicates the universal longing for psychological intimacy in a relationship.
“O my beloved, lingering in the gardens, how wonderful that your companions can listen to your voice. Let me hear it, too!” Song of Solomon 8:13 (NLT)
Physical Intimacy Lastly, a husband and wife share physical intimacy by sharing their bodies with each other. This physical intimacy includes living together in the same home, touching one another, and sex. The physically intimate couple experiences satisfaction especially when they have spiritual and psychological intimacy also.
God created you and your spouse to enjoy physical intimacy. It is willed and designed by Him. It is an important part of becoming one with your spouse.
“Honor marriage, and guard the sacredness of sexual intimacy between wife and husband...” Hebrews 13:4 (MSG)
You can be free to share your body without shame.
“The two of them, the Man and his Wife, were naked, but they felt no shame.”
Genesis 2:25 (MSG)
Q.4 What emotions do you experience when you share your body with your spouse?
Q.5 Do you hide your body from your spouse? Explain.
Don’t deprive or withhold physical affection from each other or refuse to satisfy desires that can be righteously fulfilled in marriage.
“The husband should not deprive his wife of sexual intimacy, which is her right as a married woman, nor should the wife deprive her husband.”
1 Corinthians 7:3 (NLT)
Q.6 Do you withhold physical intimacy from your spouse? If so, explain why.
Little or no physical intimacy in the marriage causes the couple to feel distant. The temptation to look for intimacy outside of the marriage may become a problem. Don’t withhold your body from your spouse.
One reason for withholding physical intimacy from your spouse may be revenge. Perhaps your spouse hasn’t met your expectations or done things your way or has said or done things that are hurtful.
Q.7 Have you withheld sex as a means of seeking revenge for how you have been treated?
“Never seek revenge or bear a grudge against anyone, but love your neighbor as yourself. I am the LORD.” Leviticus 19:18 (NLT)
Q.8 What does this verse say to you concerning seeking revenge against your spouse?
Value your Spouse
Valuing your spouse is respecting or cherishing his or her entire person (spirit, soul and body). It is about providing a safe environment for your spouse.
Your spouse is a gift from God to you. Thank Him for your marriage and spouse.“Find a good spouse, you find a good life – and even more: the favor of God!”
Proverbs 18:22 (MSG)
Q.9 How are you valuing your spouse, God’s gift to you?
When a husband and wife are close to each other in their spirits, souls, and bodies, they experience whole person intimacy. They have “become one.”
Q.10 Do you experience spiritual, psychological, and physical intimacy with your spouse?
Q.11 What needs to happen so you and your spouse can work on these areas?
Read the rest of the Marital book to take a closer look at spiritual and psychological intimacy. You will learn that the closer you get to God the more intimacy you will experience with your spouse. Discover some practical steps to restoring intimacy if conflict has separated you and your spouse.Buy the Marital book now...
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